5 Tips to Help You Maximize Your Wedding Night Sex

Written by: Trevor Frankfort

Whether you’re a virgin saving yourself for marriage, a horned up seasoned sex fiend or anything in between, we are conditioned by movies and TV that we should have wedding night sex. So, I polled my Instagram followers and was surprised to find out that 53% of married couples who responded said they didn’t seal the deal on their wedding nights.

Why so many? The answer is simple: they didn’t plan for it. I know, I know, sex is often better when it’s spontaneous, but which of the categories below do you want to end up in on your wedding night:

a) You’re so hungry and drunk that you order burgers and fries and while you wait for them to arrive, you start to undress and pass out. When you wake up in the morning the burgers and fries are sitting at the door in the hall. (Not so fun fact: something similar happened on my wedding night despite being an expert. My husband didn’t eat enough at our wedding, so we ordered in burgers at 3 a.m. and I ate alone in my cape).

b) You can hardly stand from exhaustion, so the sex was sloppy and messy and neither of you finished because you just wanted to fall asleep.

c) You had the best sex ever!

I’m assuming most of you reading this fall into option ‘c.’ Am I right? To reach that oh-so-satisfying wedding night climax – the icing on the wedding cake if you will – then you’re going to have to have to pre-plan because your wedding day is a busy and tiring one.

I’ve curated for you the top 5 tips to help you go beyond the tip of the iceberg of pleasure on your wedding night. Hint: like everything else to do with your wedding, it’s going to require some planning so read on and take some notes!

1. Communication:

Like everything in love and life communication is key. And so is consent!

Discuss boundaries, limits, and expectations to make sure you are both feeling safe, comfortable and getting what you desire. Ask each other: Why is it so important to have sex on our wedding night? Those who prioritize an honest and open discussion about desires and expectations for their wedding night are more likely to be able to share a mutually satisfying experience. Maybe you believe in the old tradition that one must consummate their marriage for it to be legit. Or perhaps you want to deepen (of course you want it as deep as possible!) your bond through a new intimate experience on your wedding night. It’s also possible that you just simply enjoy sex and want to get jiggy whenever you’re together. Remember that penetration isn’t always the be all and end so maybe you want to engage in other acts to get each other off. Whatever the reason and whatever you want to do doesn’t have to stop at the planning stages. Try any and/or all of these throughout the day:

Communicate how hot the other one looks every chance you get.
Whisper something sexual to each other randomly throughout the day.
Write a dirty note and leave it somewhere for your partner to find
Create and send a sexy photo (and make sure you don’t accidentally send it to a family member or someone in your wedding party).
Exchange Trevor X TEME Wedding Night Sex Kits with each other when you have a moment to yourselves.

2. Selecting the perfect location:

If you are like me then you find being away at a hotel super sexy. Figure out what the perfect location for sex looks like to you. Try and tailor the vibe of the room to the type of sex you are intending on having:

Is it a heart shaped jacuzzi and a vibrating bed that reminds you of the first time you had a sexy weekend away?
Is it a luxury suite with a king size bed so you have plenty of room for that foreplay massage, etc?
Is it an Airbnb with a view that reminds you of a place you stayed on vacation where you had the most mind-blowing orgasm?
Is it a castle with a dungeon vibe so you can role play your Lord of the Rings fantasy?

Once you figure this out, get booking to make sure you don’t lose that perfect location.

3. Packing the ultimate wedding night bag:

OK, it’s not just about making sure you’ve packed a toothbrush and toothpaste. There are many items you’ll want to shop for and pack up prior to the big night:

Fave bottle of bubbly: yes, you will likely have had a few drinks at the wedding, so even if you don’t want to drink anymore it’s still nice to toast each other (or maybe you want to drip hot candle wax on your partner and cool it down by pouring the bubbly on it and licking it up). There are tonnes of alcohol-free options that are also available.
Rose petals: for that old school romantic. Rose petals scattered around the room not only adds a sexy scent but also screams romance. Some things are a classic for a reason!
Pre-rolled joint: there’s nothing that kills a mood more than saying “hang on, I just have to roll this.”
Candles, candles, candles: just be careful to not set the room a blaze (the only fire you want on your wedding night is the fire burning in your loins).
Scented candle/incense: Sex is about all the different senses and a pleasant scent can be such an aphrodisiac. Try jasmine, blue lotus or sandalwood.
Trevor X TEME Wedding Night Sex Kits: for your ultimate pleasure. Go on, look them up, you won’t regret it.
Lube: well…if I need to explain why, then please stop reading this.
Snacks: don’t bother packing this, just order something. Oysters, perhaps?

4. Setting the mood:

Don’t leave it to someone else to set up your wedding night sextravaganza. Work with your wedding planner to ensure there is time in the schedule to go to the hotel or Airbnb to set up for the night:

Drop off your sleepover bags with all the other non-sexy overnight items.
Unpack your lighters and matches so you can light your candles and incense easily.
Make sure there is a way to chill your bottle of bubbly and that they provide glassware.
Set up all your candles.
If candles aren’t your thing, make sure to test out the lighting in the room to know what the perfect mood will be.
Ensure all your sex tools are easily accessible. If you didn’t bring the Trevor X TEME Wedding Night Sex Kits with you to the wedding to exchange, this would be a perfect time to place them on the bed as a surprise.
Leave a Bluetooth speaker and make sure it is charged or plugged in so you can play soothing and sexy music.

5. Incorporating playfulness and adventure while still focusing on pleasure:

For those that have an active sex life, your wedding night can be the perfect time to explore new territories together. It’s also a great time to bring excitement into bed with toys and games while being open to adventure and spontaneity. Remember to be clear about your needs and wants, have mutual consent, and ensure both partners feel valued and respected:

Take turns sharing fantasies with each other and act them out: maybe you want to be spanked or tied up or maybe you just want to playout a scene from a hot porn you’ve watched.
Toys and Games: Truth or Dare is always fun game to play with your partner. Bringing a sex tool into the bed can simulate having a threesome.
Bring foreplay back: your wedding night is the perfect time to not rush. Try a striptease, lap dance, take a shower or put on some porn to watch together.
Switch Roles to Keep the Dynamics Interesting: if you are the submissive partner, try being the dominant one for the night or vice versa (pun intended).

Now that you are ready to have your version of the best wedding night sex it’s important to prioritize intimacy and connection throughout your marriage and to nurture your bond well beyond the wedding night. Stay tuned for another piece all about that and until then, happy wedding night sex planning.